


Becoming Alana Beck

by space_dev



Series: Being Alana Beck [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Backstory, Broken Bones, Childhood, F/F, Family Issues, Fluff & Angst, Illnesses, Minor Injuries, Mostly Fluff, Sister-Sister Relationship, little sister - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-20 18:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16560707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_dev/pseuds/space_dev
Summary: Alana's childhood, and how she ended up where she is now.





	1. The Hospital, a Dora Puzzle, and a Man With A Big Beard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewickedverkaiking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewickedverkaiking/gifts).
  * Inspired by [catch me i'm falling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197130) by [thewickedverkaiking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewickedverkaiking/pseuds/thewickedverkaiking). 



> also pssst go read the fic this is inspired by uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At 12:09 AM on the morning of January 19th, a new person entered the world.
> 
> Johanna Elizabeth Beck wasn’t there. She was doing her Dora puzzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentioned childbirth & hospital

"What's wrong with Momma?" Jana asked, tugging on her father's sleeve.

 

"She's about to have a baby, Jana, she's fine. You're about to get a baby brother or sister, like we talked about," he responded.

 

"Well, I want a baby brother," Jana said.

 

Her dad took his phone or of his pokeberry. "Sorry, Gloria, it's Jimmy," he said, stepping out while flipping his phone open, leaving Jana with her mom.

 

"Momma, will I get a baby brother?" She asked, trying to comb up onto the hospital bed. It was awfully hard, being three, and thusly, tiny and not that strong.

 

"I don't know, Johanna, be quiet and play with your Dora the Explorer puzzle."

 

So Jana return to her 25-piece puzzle on the floor, nearly getting trampled when the doctor came in.

 

Jana didn't really listen to what they were taking about, focusing on her puzzle, but she snapped into attention when she heard her name spoken.

 

"Johanna, would you go take your puzzle outside? Go find your father, perhaps," she said.

 

"How come?" Jana asked.

 

"Because I said so. Get your puzzle and go."

 

So Jana obediently put her puzzle back into it's cardboard box, and toddled out of the room, undeterred by the sea of nurses bustling into the room.

 

Jana didn't know where her father might be, so she kept on walking, and eventually, she found an elevator! She loved elevators. They were fun to jump in. So she pushed the up button, and stepped inside. It was empty.

 

Jana knew she was on 2 because the little screen said so, so she pushed the biggest number. She wasn't sure what it was, but it came after 10 and had two whole numbers!

 

She jumped and jumped, and the elevator didn't stop once. She remembered that it was more fun to jump on the way down, so when she reached the floor, she found that the down elevator was open already and empty! So she got on, and pushed the littlest number, 1.

 

It was much more fun jumping on the way down, it made her feel like she was flying.

 

When she got down to one, she got back the up elevator and closed her eyes before choosing a number. When she opened them, the number 9 was illuminated.

 

When she got up to 9, she didn't feel like jumping or riding the elevator anymore. She needed to go potty. So she looked d looked. 

 

She knew five words, Momma, Daddy, Johanna, Baby, and Bathroom. Also Potty. So... Jana counted on her fingers. That made... Seven!

 

Finally, she found the bathroom sign, and she realised that there were two doors she could choose. Cool! One had a circle and triangle with sticks, the other had a circle, a square, and sticks. 

 

She wasn't sure which one to choose, so she spun around in a big circle with her eyes closed. She opened her eyes and saw the square and stick door, so she went in there.

 

She chose a stall, the really big one, and locked the door like she was supposed to, and went potty without any help like a big girl.

 

She still had her puzzle and wanted to finish it, so she pulled up her pants and then sat on the floor, opened up the box, and dumped out all the pieces, then started putting them together.

 

When she was almost done with her puzzle, she heard the door open and footsteps, but she didn’t pay any attention.

 

That is, until she saw a face poking under the door.

 

“Hey, little missy, how’d you get in here? And where are your parents?” It was a man, with light skin and a big busy brown beard.

 

“My momma’s having a baby.”

 

He nodded understandably. Jana liked it when grown ups did that. “Now, can you unlock the door?”

 

Jana stumbled up and toddled over to the door, unlocking it, and the man came in and sat on the floor criss cross applesauce. He had a funny shirt with Spongebob on it and the blue pants that felt funny to her. He also had a big, soft belly. 

 

“That’s a nice puzzle you’ve got there,” he said.

 

“It’s Dora!”

 

“I see. Now, why don’t we put the puzzle away and go find your momma?”

 

“Momma told me that I had to go find Daddy but I couldn’t find him so I rode the elevator.

 

The man chuckled. “Do you know where your daddy went?”

 

“Nuh uh.”

 

“Alright, do you know his phone number?”

 

Jana shook her head.

 

“What about his name?”

 

“Daddy.”

 

The man sighed. “What’s your name?”

 

“Jana ‘Lizabeth Beck,” she recited proudly. “But only my daddy calls me Jana, everyone else calls me Johanna.”

 

He nodded. “Nice to meet you, Jana, I’m Matt. We’re gonna put the puzzle away now and then go find your daddy, okay?”

 

Jana nodded, and the two made quick work of putting away the puzzle. He had big hands with brown hairs... and he had a bracelet! It was really pretty, red paper with blue and orange and purple swirly lines.

 

Matt noticed her looking at the bracelet. “My little son, Benji, made it for me. Maybe you can play with him while we wait for your daddy, okay? He’s five years old. How old are you?”

 

“Three,” Jana said, holding up three fingers so that he’d understand. “I just had my birthday in November. November thirty.”

 

“Wow, you’re such a big girl! Now, let’s go find your daddy,” Matt said, picking Jana up and holding her on his hip.

 

At the sink, a big boy was using a whole lot of paper towels to dry his hands. “Jana, this is Benji. Benji, we’re going to go find Jana’s daddy.”

 

“Why was she in the boy bathroom?” Benji asked, following Matt out the door.

 

“Just because, Benji,” Matt said, taking his hand. “Jana, what floor was your daddy on, do you know?”

 

“Umm...” Jana had forgotten. “I think... four, maybe?”

 

“Alright, then, we’ll go to the desk on the fourth floor and get someone to call your daddy.”

 

They got to ride the elevator again. Benji didn’t jump. He ran his blue toy car along the wall and sang a song about a doodle who had a noodle hat. It was a funny song.

 

They got off and walked to the desk. Jana had never seen the top of the desk, so she was really excited. There was a little toy cat and a rectangle with numbers on it. Ten one three. With two dots between the ten and the one three.

 

“I’ve got a missing child, first name either Jana or Johanna, last name Beck,” Matt said.

 

The lady at the desk nodded and picked up a phone and started saying something about a missing child. Jana didn’t really listen.

 

They waited a really, really long time at the desk, and she fell asleep. When she woke up, the rectangle said one two four eight, and her daddy was there.

 

“Thanks for finding her,” he was saying, and then he picked her up. “Jana, what you did was very naughty.”

 

“But momma told me to go find you!” Jana protested.

 

“You should’ve waited outside the door.”

 

“But that’s not what Momma told me to do.”

 

Her daddy sighed. “Alright, well, you have a new little sibling now. Five pounds, three ounces.”

 

“What’s that mean?”

 

“How much the baby weighs. Now, do you want to see the baby before she and Momma go to sleep?”

 

Jana nodded.

 

They rode the elevator again, and walked down a long hall, and then her daddy opened a door.

 

Her momma was holding a pink blanket and smiling really big.

 

Her daddy set her down on the bed, and Jana peered at the blanket. There was a round thing, it was dark, like her face, and with lines. It looked like...

 

“Is that a really big skittle? Is it the biggest in the world?”

 

Her momma shook her head. “No, that’s your baby’s sister. She’s sleeping.”

 

“But I wanted a baby brother.”

 

Her momma shook her head. “You’ll get a baby brother next time, maybe?”

 

“What’s the baby’s name?”

 

“Alana Ruth Beck.”

 


	2. Two Kindergartens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana’s not sure if she REALLY likes it when her momma comes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for spanking, yelling, and a generally not great momma (i swear this isn't smut)

"Momma! You're finally home!" Alana cried, latching onto her mother's ankle and smiling up at her, the light in the foyer catching in her shock of curly black hair.

Her mother, Gloria, didn't return the smile and pried her three-year-old daughter off of her light-skinned leg. "Yes, I'm home, Alana. Did you and Jana have fun with Clarice today?"

"Yeah. We played Monopoly ten whole times!"

"Well, that's very nice. Did Jana behave?"

Alana's face screwed up in thought. "Well... she did steal all my trains, but she did make brownies with Clarice for us all to share. And they both let me lick the bowl!"

"Well, then, it sounds like you've had a very nice day. Where are Jana and Clarice?"

"In the dining room. We're playing Candy Land."

Gloria took her young daughter by the hand and led her to the dining room, hazel eyes searching for messes on the way and finding none, and sure enough, her five-year-old and nanny were sitting at the table. Jana was leaning across the table, moving her gingerbread piece, the red one, across the board.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Beck," Clarice said politely. Gloria responded with a nod.

"Jana, did you have a fun day with Alana and Clarice?" She asked.

"Yeah! We made brownies," Jana said, not looking up from the board as she continued to concentratedly move her piece, using her other hand to tuck a stray braid behind her ear. A glance at the card next to her showed that she'd gotten the card that advanced her to Grandma Nutt's house, when she was previously just past Mr. Mint's space.

Finally, though, she set her piece down on the space with the peanut on it, and Alana bounded over to a pushed-out chair, leaning over to reach the board as Jana had to choose a card, Gloria watching with a raised eyebrow, twirling a thick lock of her brunette bob around her finger.

"Double purple! My favourite!" Alana cried, grabbing her piece, the blue one with her small, chubby toddler hands, and her smile was so bright that Clarice couldn't help taking a picture with her portable camera that sat ar her side.

Alana jumped her piece onto every space, finally landing on the next purple, and sat back down, clapping her hands. Another picture was taken by Clarice.

"Well then, I guess it's my turn," Clarice said, picking up a card. "One orange," she said, setting it down next to her and moving her yellow piece a few spaces.

Just as Jana was starting to reach for her next card, Gloria stopped her. "Johanna, pause the game for a moment. I need to tell you something."

Jana leaned back and looked up at her mom. "Yes, Momma?"

"Well, in about two weeks, you're gonna go to kindergarten."

"What's kind... kindergaten?" Jana asked slowly, stumbling over the long word.

"Kindergarten. It's school. You're gonna learn to read and get really smart, just like Momma."

"But I can already read, a little bit! I read almost all of Goodnight Moon yesterday night, and Clarice only had to help me with six words!"

"Yes, but you'll learn to read even better in kindergarten. And you'll get to meet lots and lots of other children."

"Really?"

"Yes, lots of boys and girls. And the teachers will be really nice, too."

"But I wanna stay home with 'Lana and Clarice! Una from Sunday Scholl says that her teachers are mean and the kids will be loud! I hate loudness. And she says it's scary, I don't want to be scared!" Jana protested.

Gloria glared at her with murder - or worse, timeout, in her eyes.

"Johanna Elizabeth Beck. You will be going to kindergarten, and that's final."

"But I don't wanna!"

"Johanna Elizabeth Beck. I won't tell you again."

"No! No! No!"

"That's it. Go to your room."

Johanna glared at her with all the fury a five-year-old can muster. "You can't do that! I don't even know if you're my momma! You never live here! You're always with Daddy in the city! Yelling at people in ugly rooms. Clarice is much nicer than you. She doesn't yell. She talks nicely. Even when I do bad stuff."

"Well, maybe me and Clarice need to have a talk about being nice when you do bad stuff. But, Johanna, you don't have a choice. I am your mother. I have the legal right to tell you what to do. I also have the documents to prove that you are my child. So go to your room, or you're getting a spanking."

" _Clarice_ doesn't spank me!" Johanna cried.

"That's it," Gloria said, scooping Jana up, who squirmed in her arms, and taking her into the kitchen. Both Alana and Clarice heard her open a drawer, and they heard one, two, three, four, five slaps from what was likely a wooden spoon, and each cry of pain, before they emerged again, Gloria pushing the sobbing Jana forward with the spoon.

"Get moving. Up the stairs, to your room. You can just think about what you did."

Jana hugged herself and ran upstairs, slamming her door behind her, though you could still hear her sobs.

"Now, Alana, when you get to go to kindergarten, don't you dare put up that much of a fight," Gloria said, glaring at her.

"Mrs. Beck, Jana's obviously scared! If you just talked to her-"

"Clarice," Gloria said, cutting her off. "You can pack up your things. I expect you gone by Thursday. That of course, gives me four days to find a nanny that won't encourage this kind of insolence from my children."

"Mrs. Beck, if you just talked to her! They barely see you, and yes, you're providing for them, but this... this is not how it works!"

"Clarice. I don't want to hear another word."

Clarice swallowed and looked at the ground, before silently heading upstairs.

"And you'd better not say a word to Johanna!" Gloria called after her.

-

Jana was dropped off by the new nanny, an old lady named Gretchen. She was grouchy, she smelled weird, and she always yelled, even when she and Alana hadn't done anything wrong. A small part of her was glad that she got to leave the house for a couple hours after lunch. Gretchen was mean.

Gretchen let Alana hug Jana quickly, and when they pulled apart, Alana handed Jana two pictures.

Both of them were Alana, taken on that fateful day when Clarice had gotten fired. "In case you forget me," Alana whispered.

"Hurry UP, Johanna!" Gretchen snapped, and Jana quickly hugged her little sister once more before jumping out of the car, following the herd of kindergarteners, her red backpack bouncing on her back, her fat, twisty braids jumping with her, the plastic butterflies on the edges clinking together.

Gretchen grumbled something about Jana leaving the door to the SUV open and closed it with the button on the ceiling by the mirror. "Now, Alana, you'd better behave. We're going shopping."

"Shopping?" Alana asked carefully.

"Yes. Shopping. I will not tolerate any tantrums, or crying, or begging. We're getting food, we're getting you a new dress for Sunday School, your old one is too small, and then, we're buying shoes."

"But we just got shoes a couple days ago!"

"Yes, but those were for your sister. It's your turn to get shoes. You need sneakers and new Mary Janes."

"Okay."

"The correct response is 'yes ma'am, Alana."

"Okay."

"Alana..."

"Yes ma'am!" Alana piped up quickly.

"Better."

-

Alana loved her new sneakers. They were purple, sparkly, and had Velcro. She loved Velcro! It made a funny sound and she didn't have to tie her shoes like Jana did. It looked awfully hard. All those funny knots and twisty things.

Gretchen let her wear her new sneakers on the car ride, and she couldn't help but kick them around happily. New shoes! Purple shoes! And they looked cool with the sunlight coming through the windows. It made the glitter look even more sparkly.

Of course, Gretchen made her stop after a little while, but she couldn't help but stare at her pretty shoes.

Until, of course, the car door opened and Jana climbed in, clutching a piece of paper.

"Jana!" Alana cried happily, smiling widely."

"Lana! Guess what! We got to draw pictures! I drew one of you!" Jana said, handing her the piece of paper. "And the teacher read us letters. A, B, C, D, and E. But I already knew all of them! I got all the questions right!"

"Johanna, sit down and get buckled," Gretchen snapped.

Alana looked at the piece of paper. There she was, in her favourite shirt, purple, of course, and red shorts, with a green shoe and a yellow shoe. It was very scribbly, but she liked it! It was pretty.

"Thanks, Jana! Oh, look, I got fancy new sneakers!" Alana cried, sticking out a foot towards Jana, who was buckling her seatbelts on her chest. Jana was a big girl, who could do it herself. Alana still needed help, especially when she was trying to attach the bottom part.

"Wow, those look really really cool, Lana!" Jana cried, finishing buckling up. "I'm all buckled, Gretchen."

Gretchen moved the weird stick between her seat and the other front seat and began driving. Both of them kicked their feet excitedly, Jana with her red sneakers with big-girl laces, and Alana with her sparkly purple shoes.

"Alana, Johanna, stop it now, or neither of you are getting dinner," Gretchen said, glaring at them in the mirror.

Grudgingly, they both stopped.

"Oh, Lana! I kept the pictures safe in my backpack. They're in my homework binder. It has my name on it! And a bee sticker!"

-

Alana's transition to kindergarten was mostly painless, having learned from Jana that saying she was scared wasn't going to get her anywhere. Her daddy came home the day before and showed her a building he was designing in the fairway New York City where her momma and daddy lived most of the time. It was really, really tall.

But he was gone the next day, and instead of going to afternoon kindergarten like Jana, she had to go to morning kindergarten.

Gretchen was still grumpy two years later, and she smoked on the way to the school. Smoking was weird, it made Alana's nose tickle, and it smelled gross.

Jana was already in second grade, she got to start a whole week before Alana got to start kindergarten, and she had to do something called subtraction, where you took numbers from numbers. Jana had explained it, and Alana had been really good at it! She could also do addition, where you added numbers to numbers. It was the opposite of subtraction.

"Hey, Alana, what's five minus two?" Jana asked.

"Three!" Alana said, without missing a beat.

"Eight minus four?"

"Four!"

'Seven minus zero?"

"Seven!"

"You're so good at subtraction, even better than me! Maybe you could come to second grade with me! Mrs. Shapiro will love you!"

"No, Johanna, Alana's going to kindergarten," Gretchen called, flipping the butt of her cigarette out into the wind.

"Too bad. Second grade is fun. We have a rainbow on the window! And we have real plants, even a cactus! And it's red!"

"I really wanna go to second grade," Alana said, pouting a bit.

"No, Alana," Gretchen said, pulling to a stop in front of the school. "Get out, both of you. Johanna, help Alana with her seatbelt."

Alana still had trouble with her seatbelt. It was hard to pull out. But Jana was strong, and she could do it!

"Hurry up, you two," Gretchen grumbled, opening her pack of cigarettes and choosing one.

Alana and Jana leapt out of the car, holding hands. Alana had gotten her hair braided like Jana's by her daddy last night, only hers were smaller and not twisty, like Jana's, and she wore them in a ponytail. She also didn't have plastic butterflies, but that was okay.

She had a purple backpack, though! It was like her sneakers she got the day Jana went to kindergarten, purple and sparkly. Her sneakers were a diffrent purple, and they had big-girl laces!

As the finishing touch, she wore a purple sundress with pink and white butterflies! It was new, they just bought it last week.

"Kindergarteners, over here!" Someone called.

Alana hesitated and looked up at Jana.

"Go ahead, Alana. I'll see you after school!"

Alana nodded, smiled, and ran over to where the other kindergarteners were, following the herd, and eventually, ending up in a classroom.

It had a poster of all the letters, there was a huge, huge dry erase board, and all the tables had different colours and shapes! There was an orange diamond table, a green circle table, red square, blue rectangle... and a purple triangle!

There was a lady with pretty, long red hair in a long, long braid down her back, with green eyes and lots and lots of freckles, wearing a jean vest, a long, flowy green skirt, and a light pink shirt.

She had a clipboard with Spongebob on the back, and there was a line of kids. As she got closer, she discovered that the lady would ask what their name was and then tell them where to sit.

There was a little boy with a blue shirt and jeans, with curly brown hair, in front of her, and at last, he reached the front. She would be next! She almost jumped in excitement.

"Hello, young man. What's your name?"

"Connor Murphy," he answered, sounding small and scared.

"Welcome, Connor," the lady said, squatting down and getting close to Connor. "Alright, you'll be at the red square table. It's right over there, see?" She pointed, and there were already two girls at the red square table.

"Okay," Connor said, walking away to the table.

Alana bounced forward excitedly, smiling and waving her arms.

"Well, looks like someone's excited! And very purple. Is it your favourite colour?"

"Yeah!" Alana said, bouncing.

"Alright," the lady said with a smile. "Well, since you like purple so much, you can go sit with the purple triangles, just over there, next to the red squares, where I just sent the boy in front of you. Do you see it?"

"Yup!"

"Alright, then, go sit down," she said, and Alana bounded off to the table.

She was the first one there, too! She got the whole entire table to herself!

Well, until another little girl came over. She had curly red hair, really long, and dark green eyes, not light, like the spongebob clipboard lady's. She wore yellow pants, and a dark blue dress with daisies on it. Her shoes were pink, they had Velcro, and she was crying.

"Are you okay?" Alana asked softly.

The girl shook her head. "I want my mommy."

Alana hesitated, but hugged the little girl gently. The girl was a lot taller than her, though.

The girl eventually stopped crying and started sniffing, and Alana pulled away.

"I'm Alana. What's your name?"

"Jordan Zoey Grimm."

"You have two whole first names?"

Jordan laughed. "No, Zoey is my second name."

"Ohh, that's cool!"

"Children, sit down, please," the lady with the Spongebob clipboard said. "Kindergarten is about to begin."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reference pic for Alana's mom: http://hairstylesweekly.com/images/2013/11/065849hWq.jpg
> 
> reference pic for Alana's dad: https://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/106903479.jpg?quality=85&strip=all&w=414
> 
> reference pic for Jana: http://www.askmamaz.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Little-black-girls-braided-hairstyles-for-school-with-beads.jpg
> 
> reference pic for Jordan (she's based off my 2 of my lil sisters - one is 6 and a royal pain in the arse with the curly hair, and the other one was named Jordan Zoey. also, no, Jordan Zoey is not Zoe in disguise, she comes in later. they wouldn't have the same kindergarten, anyway, since Zoe's younger. but i promise you, there will be good, non-background galaxy gals... much later in the series lol.
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/236x/fc/2e/bb/fc2ebb27f76a0d5c9bec1ec5ca65da4c--red-hair-brown-eyes-disney-dogs.jpg
> 
> \- for reference, Alana was born in 2001, Jana 1996.
> 
> \- the colour/shape tables are inspired by my kindergarten experience, but we had orange rhombuses (which ARE diamonds, but they wouldn't let us call them that) and i don't remember if/what we had for triangles. it MIGHT have been yellow triangles???? idk. i was an orange rhombus and briefly a green circle, if you're wondering.


	3. The Cootie Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe Keltin, a tube of sparkly purple fruity princess toothpaste, and red worms that eat your feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m officially beginning a posting schedule today! new chapters twice a week, one on monday and one on saturday. this is now integrated into my nano project, so we’re starting it steady now, rather than december.

 “What happened to your finger, Alana?” Jordan asked as Alana sat down primly at the purple triangle table. It was the third week of kindergarten, and there was a Princess Belle bandaid on Alana’s pointer finger. 

“I got a paper cut. I wanted an Ariel bandaid, but we were all out,” Alana answered.

“Did it hurt?”

“It stung really bad, but it stopped after awhile.” 

Jordan nodded understandingly.

Then, one of the boys from the blue rectangle table came over. He was tall, even taller than Jordan, and he had his yellow hair all spiky. It looked scary.

“Your dress is really stupid, Alana,” he commented. “And so is your bandaid. Princesses are stupid.”

Alana looked at him with wide eyes. She didn’t even know this boy, but he was being mean all of a sudden! Was he even allowed to leave his table like this?

“My dress is perfectly fine,” she said finally, smoothing it out. It was soft, blue, and it had little purple and gold stars all over it, and long sleeves.

“Your dress is stupid. Purple stars don’t even exist! And I bet you have cooties, too, so the dress is infested now.”

“What’re cooties?”

“Cooties are little bugs that grow on your skin and plant eggs in your hair, and the babies are little ugly white worms that go into your head and eat your brain. My big brother is in first grade. He told me all about it.”

“Well, my sister is in _second_ grade,” Alana said.

“Well, my big brother is really smart. He can do addition and read chapter books. And he said all girls have cooties. So you have cooties and they’re eating your brain right now.”

Just then, Mrs. Shapiro came in. “Gabriel, please sit get your homework binder, then sit down. Class is about to being. Today, we’re learning about the numbers... yes, Alana?”

Alana had her hand raised. “Mrs. Shapiro, that boy said that I have little white worms in my hair and eating my brain. Is that true?”

The boy walked past the purple triangle table and got his homework from his Spider-Man backpack, handing it to Mrs. Shapiro while turning back to stick his tongue out at Alana. Mrs. Shapiro didn’t notice.

“No, Alana, they don’t exist, you’re perfectly fine. Now, today, we’re learning about the numbers eighteen, nineteen, and...”

Alana tunes the teacher out. She already knew about all of that stuff, she could count to a hundred. And even though she’d said that cooties didn’t exist, she couldn’t help but imagine them. Tiny white worms in her braids and digging holes in her head, flies swarming. She’d seen a picture of a brain, once. It was pink and had curly lines. She imagined the little worms chewing into her brain, digging deeper, crawling into her eyes...

At recess, all anyone could talk about were cooties. Some kids said that they weren’t white worms, but they were actually little black beetles that made your hair fall out , and some kids said that they were long pink worms that started at your hair and went all the way to your feet, eating everything. 

Whatever they looked like, they were scary. Especially when Alana imagined them eating her feet and her shoes... she and a bunch of other girls started crying, and most of the boys started spraying invisible cootie spray and not playing with the girls. All the boys played tag by themselves, and wouldn’t let any of the girls join.

One girl, she was named Bella, almost like the princess on her bandaid, who had skin between the colour of her dark skin and Jordan’s light skin and pretty, shiny short brown hair, and blue eyes, and she wore a Snow White shirt. It was pretty. She was pretty.

Anyway, Bella got them all to play Adventurers together. Which was really fun! They pretended to be brave explorers trying to find the missing princesses and get back to the castle. It was lots of fun, and Alana even got to play the dragon! It was fun to roar and pretend to breath fire and grab other girls and capture them, and pretend to try and roast them.

But even big, scary dragons are afraid of cooties. Because that’s all Alana could think about that day. Long red worms eating her arms and legs and feet and dress.

When she got home, she put on her pajamas right away and took her dress to the sink in the bathroom, standing on the red step stool to reach.

Jana followed her in. “What’re you doing, Lana?”

“I’m washing my new dress. A boy at school said that it was influenced with cooties that eat your brains and feet,” she explained seriously, turning on the tap, all the way up, getting the dress throughly wet, before holding it under the soap dispenser and pumping soap on it.

“Maybe you should use toothpaste, too, since it cleans our teeth. It probably protects against cootie worms, like the cootie spray,” Jana suggested.

“Good idea.” Alana dropped the dress in the sink and got off the step stool, opening the middle drawer in the bathroom, dishing out her tube of purple sparkly fruity princess toothpaste. This one had Ariel, Cinderella, and Jasmine on it. She held it from the top and squeezed hard.

A big pile of toothpaste came out onto the dress... and the counter, and the faucet.

Then, she rubbed it in, like the way she washed her hands, then turned the water back on.

“You’d better rinse it good,” Jana warned.

Alana rinsed off all the soap and toothpaste and squeezed and rinsed and squeezed and shook until her arms were tired and her fingers were all wrinkly, like rasins. She hung the dress up where their towels hung and went to go do her homework.

The next day, she insisted on wearing the dress again, and she brought the toothpaste with her. It was magical, after all, just like Jana had said, and kept cooties far away. 

The boy, Gabe, didn’t come to the purple triangle table again, but at recess, he wouldn’t play with any girls.

That’s when Alana took her toothpaste out of her backpack. “Don’t worry, I have cootie protection now, so you can play with me.”

Gabe turned and looked at her, and laughed. “That’s just toothpaste! You still have cooties!” 

“ _My_ big sister said it protected against cooties, _and_  I washed my dress all by myself with it last night! So I don’t have any more cooties,” she said proudly. 

Gabe pouted. “She’s lying.”

Alana took off the cap of the toothpaste. “Well, then, maybe _your_  brother is wrong about only girls having cooties!”

And then, she squirted the toothpaste right at his face.

Gabe screamed and started rubbing the toothpaste out of his face. “Teacher! Alana sprayed me with toothpaste!” 

Mrs. Shapiro was over in an instant, taking in the scene, what with Gabe covered in toothpaste and Alana holding the half empty tube of toothpaste, plus some of it on the ground.

“Alana,” she began quietly, gently, “Did you squirt toothpaste at Gabe?”

“Only ‘cause he kept saying I had cooties! My big sister said toothpaste protected against cooties. So now I don’t have any more red worms eating my feet.”

“Alana, we don’t squirt toothpaste at others. It’s not kind. Now, I’m going to have you go sit with the other teachers and watch everyone else play while I go clean up Gabe.”

“But he was mean!”

“That still gives you no reason to squirt toothpaste at him. Now, come with me, both of you.”

Mrs. Shapiro led them both to the other teachers, who were watching everyone play as they sat in their folding chairs. Alana was made to sit down between Mrs. Jackson and Mr. Leslie, without getting a chair, and then, the teacher led Gabe inside.

None of the teachers talked to her. They kept talking about Mrs. Westley’s husband, and money, and other big, boring grown up stuff.

But Alana had to just sit there, steaming in anger and embarrassment, as the others played Adventurers. She wanted so badly to go play with them. Be the dragon again. Or be one of the regular Adventurers. Just as long as she would be allowed to play.

When recess ended, Alana was led back to the classroom, and from the blue rectangle table, Gabe stuck her tongue out at her and smiled meanly.

Alana wanted to squirt more toothpaste at him. Gretchen’s toothpaste, though, because it was something called Sensodyne and it smelled funny and it wasn’t a fun colour.

 


	4. Thanksgiving and the Skinny Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana doesn’t like Thanksgiving. Not at all.

Alana decided she hated Thanksgiving.

 

She had to wear her red velvet dress that was too tight and black shoes that hurt her toes and then sit in the car for six whole hours while they drove to New York. It was boring, and Alana slept most of the way, and then Gretchen yelled at her for messing up her dress.

One thing she did like, was seeing all the skyscrapers in New York. They were so, so tall! And skinny. How did they not blow over in the wind?

Then, they had to wait on the sidewalk while Gretchen found a place to park, walk into a building, and be sat down on a couch in the lobby before Gretchen left, grumbling about how SHE hadn’t been invited.

Then, her mom came in, and they had to sit at a long table by themselves, waiting, until a bunch of grown ups sat down around them and a bunch of funny smelling food was set on the table by people wearing white suits and red bow ties.

The food was... well, it was okay. Jana told her that there was a turkey, and in the turkey, was a wishbone, that they could pull apart, and then whoever got the biggest piece got a wish.

But Alana saw the wishbone handed off to a man with a big, booming voice that scared her, and he pulled it apart with a really skinny lady wearing a fluffy orange dress. It was ugly. 

And when the lady got the bigger part, she said that she had wished for business for Beck, Larnie, and Beckett to be pros... prosper something. And that they got lots of big cases and won them all. Alana didn’t see what the big fuss over a bunch of cases was, but wondered what kind of cases they were. Suitcases? Probably.

“What’s Beck, Larry, and Beckett?” Alana asked Jana.

“It’s a law firm. Momma’s in it. They yell at people in rooms and talk about sentences,” Jana explained.

Alana didn’t know what a law firm was, but she nodded seriously.

Then, all the food went away, and the grown ups got to drink stuff that smelled funny and made them laugh a lot and talk louder. Jana and Alana got something called Sprite, but she didn’t like the bubbles, so she let Jana drink it.

It was way too loud in the room. Too many people, talking and laughing, so Alana left. Nobody stopped her.

Outside the room, she ended up in a hall. It was a lot quieter than the room. 

There was also a sign for the bathroom, and Alana realised that she really needed to go.

So she went into the girl’s bathroom, and peed, and washed her hands like a good girl. There weren’t any knobs to turn the faucets on, like at school and at home. They turned on automatically when she put her hands under! And the soap did the same thing, but it did smell funny. Not a good funny. 

The towel dispenser had a sign, that showed a hand under the dispenser, and sure enough, a whole paper towel rolled out for her!

As she was drying her hands, the really skinny lady in the ugly orange dress came in, took a little red bag out of her purse, and took a little wand out of a yellow tube, and started waving it above her eyes. Alana stopped everything and watched in fascination.

The lady noticed Alana looking at her from the mirror, and laughed. “You wanna watch?” she asked.

Alana nodded, transfixed.

The lady set the little wand down and lifted her up, sitting her on the counter so she could see. “This one’s called mascara. It makes your eyelashes bigger and longer. Look.”

From here, Alana could tell that she wasn’t waving it above her eyes, she was brushing her eyelashes! And they really did get bigger and longer. It was cool.

Next, she took out a gold tube, and popped off a cap. There was a little red crayon in it, and she rubbed it on her lips, and it made them really red.

After that, she took out a little clear bottle with greenish yellow water in it. She sprayed it on herself, and it smelled funny. Alana didn’t see the point.

Finally, she took her hair out of the bun it was in. It was really long and red, like Jordan’s hair, just straight and even longer. She brushed it with a yellow hairbrush and put it back in the bun.

Then she put everything back in the bag, zipped it up, and lifted Alana back down to the ground. “You’re Gloria’s daughter, right?”

“Who’s Gloria?”

 

The lady laughed. “Gloria Beck.”

“Well, my third name is Beck..” Alana trailed off. Who _was_ Gloria?

The lady laughed again and took her hand, leading her out of the bathroom and back into the room with the really long table. There weren’t as many people now, and it was quieter. 

“Gloria,” the lady called. “I found one of your little munchkins in the bathroom.”

Her momma came over, laughing offhandedly at something a big man whispered in her ear as she passed. She was wearing a blue dress that was really, really short. Alana wondered if she was cold. It wasn’t too cold in here, but it had been cold outside when they were waiting for Gretchen.

“Thanks, Tiffani. She wasn’t whining, right?” Her momma asked.

“No, she was very well behaved. You’ve raised her well. She watched me put on my makeup.”

 

Her momma laughed. Which confused Alana, because the skinny lady hadn’t said anything funny. She wondered if she was supposed to laugh too. “Honestly, you should see her at home. She’s a real monster.”

“I’m sure she isn’t all THAT bad.”

“Oh, no, she is.”

The skinny lady started talking about someone named Carl, and Alana could tell that she didn’t need to be there anymore, so she went back to where Jana was sitting.

Gretchen hadn’t let them bring their Barbies and stuffed animals from the car into the room, so the two of them just sat there for awhile. 

At one point, a lady with a ponytail wearing the white suit came over and gave Jana a weird looking thing.

Jana squealed, then remembered to say thank you, like a good girl, and then the lady walked away, really fast.

 

“Lana, look, it’s a wishbone!” Jana cried.

Alana studied the bone. It had two pieces, and they were attached. It looked kinda like a triangle, but it didn’t have the bottom line. 

 

“So, you hold one side, I hold the other, and then we break it,” Jana dictated, guiding her hands onto it. “On three, we pull, and whoever gets the bigger part gets a wish!”

As Jana started to count, Alana thought about what she would wish for. Maybe for her parents to come live in their house. Or have a bird poop in Gabe’s spiky hair. Or a new princess Barbie.

“...3!” Jana cried.

Alana snapped out of her thoughts and pulled as hard as she could. She heard it break, and looked at the piece she had, then Jana’s.

“I won! I won!” Jana cried. “I get my wish!” 

Alana said nothing, feeling disappointed tears prick at her eyes, and went back to doing nothing, except, of course refusing stubbornly to cry.

And that’s what she did, until Gretchen came into the room and took her and Jana back to the car, and by then, it was really dark outside. 

Alana fell right asleep, and when she woke up, she was in her Lightning MQueen bed.

She remembered the skinny lady and her ugly dress, and then fell back asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanksgiving can go suck a turkey leg idk i low-key hate it but that’s jut me
> 
> also, just a heads up, ill be in texas from sun to fri, so idk if/when the monday chapter will actually go up


	5. The Cootie Incident [Part Two]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Alana has been banned from bringing toothpaste to school, the Cootie Incident isn’t over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emetophobia (throwing up) tw, as well as a general sickness tw.

“So, Alana, I got a call while I was trying to nap today. I heard that you squirted toothpaste at a little boy,” Gretchen said.

 

Alana and Jana walked home from school together now, and they had been quietly doing their homework at the dining room table when Gretchen, grumpy as always, came in.

 

“He said I had cooties!” Alana cried. “And Jana said that the toothpaste was magical and protected against cooties!”

 

“I didn’t say it was magical,” Jana protested.

 

“Well, both of you can go to bed right now. You will not be getting dinner or dessert.”

 

“But we’re doing homework!”

 

“Well, you can explain to your teacher why it isn’t done in the morning, at school. Bed. Now.”

 

So Alana and Jana grudgingly got up and headed upstairs. They shared a room, Jana had a regular bed, and Alana used to have a little girl bed, but she got too big for it, so Gretchen had gone to something called a yard sale one Saturday and brought back a Lightning MQueen bed. She and Jana had even gotten to paint it purple! Gretchen had been really nice that day.

 

But, as Jana told her little sister as she snuggled down in her new bed that night, Gretchen had started burning something called cigarettes. They apparently made your brain feel funny, and you breathed in the smoke.

 

But the smoke wasn’t making Gretchen’s brain feel funny anymore, apparently, because she was back to being mean before too long.

 

Alana flopped face down onto her bed, and started crying.

 

Jana got into her own bed. “Lana, stop crying. I’m trying to sleep.”

 

“But I wanna do my homework! My teacher was really mad today, she’ll be even madder if I don’t have my homework done!”

 

“Alana, it’s a colouring page and a page where you connect the rhyming numbers. You’ll be fine. I have to do lots of subtraction and addition and spelling and stuff.”

 

“And now that I’m not allowed to bring my toothpaste to school, I’ll get more cootie worms!”

 

“That’s not good,” Jana said. “Well, I’ll try and think of something else for you.”

 

“You really will?” Alana asked, turning to look at her sister across the room.

“Definitely.” 

Alana nodded and snuggled under her blanket, hungry, but ready to sleep now.

 

When she woke up, it was dark outside, and there was no yellow light under the door. Jana was shaking her awake.

 

“Jana, it’s not school time yet,” Alana complained.

 

“Shh. I’m hungry. I’m gonna go get some ice cream.”

 

That’s woke Alana right up. She opened her eyes wide and stared up at the older girl. “Jana, we’re not ‘sposed to do that! Ice cream is for dessert. And besides, we’re not ‘sposed to eat in our room.”

 

“We won’t. We’re gonna eat in the downstairs bathroom. And we’re not even gonna use bowls, just spoons.”

 

Alana giggled. “That’s silly.”

 

Jana nodded, and put a finger to her lips, shushing her sister. “Be quiet, and go tiptoe down to the bathroom, and sit in the bathtub, but don’t turn on the water or take off your clothes. I’ll get the ice cream and spoons.”

 

Alana nodded, smiling widely, and jumped out of bed, tiptoeing as quietly as she could down the hall, down the stairs, through the living room, and into the downstairs bathroom, where she sat criss cross applesauce in the tub while waiting for Jana.

 

Jana came in just a few minutes later, carrying the two big tubs of ice cream that they had in the freezer, with two big spoons that Gretchen only used when she made green bean casserole.

 

Alana clapped excitedly as Jana quietly set the containers of ice cream down and climbed in the tub after them, clutching the spoons tightly in one hand before handing one to Alana and popping open the tub of chocolate ice cream, and Alana opened the vanilla, even though she didn’t like vanilla.

 

Jana only kind of liked vanilla, too, so they mostly ate out of the chocolate one.

 

Alana tried to fill up her whole entire spoon with ice cream and eat it all at once, but she could only fit half the spoon in her mouth, and started dribbling ice cream down her chin and onto the bathtub while Jana muffled her laughter in her hands, though the dimples that she and Alana shared were showing.

 

She slowly pulled the spoon out of her mouth, only about a quarter of the ice cream still in her mouth while part of it dribbled onto the bathtub floor until Jana quickly took the spoon from her and set it on the lid of the chocolate ice cream while Alana chewed what was in her mouth, then clutched her head.

 

“Brain freeze?” Jana whispered.

 

Alana nodded.

 

“My friend Annie says you’re supposed to put your tongue on the top of your mouth to make it stop,” she offered.

 

Alana did this, and found that while it didn’t go away immediately, it did eventually go away.

 

She finished what was on her spoon (or, well, what was left of that and hadn’t melted, anyway) and got one more regular sized bite that looked tiny on the big spoon, and then Jana gave her a washcloth from the cabinet to wipe off her face while she put the ice cream back and the spoons in the dishwasher, then came back and grabbed Alana’s hand, practically dragging her up the stairs.

 

The two went to sleep almost immediately, filled to the brim with ice cream.

 

The next morning, Alana felt kinda weird, and she didn’t really feel like eating her eggs. But Gretchen said she had to, so she did.

 

While she ate, she remembered the promise Jana had made to her last night. “If I can’t bring my magical toothpaste to school, what should I bring to protect against cooties and Gabe, Jana? You said you would think of something.”

 

Jana thought about this for a minute, eating her scrambled eggs hungrily, in contrast to Alana’s picking with her fork and the tiny bites. “What about your Ariel Barbie? Ariel is magical, she has water magic. And water kills bugs and worms, right?”

 

Alana laughed. “That’s perfect!” Her sister was so smart, and so grown up, of course she’d know, and how perfect! Ariel was fun, too, and she couldn’t shoot any toothpaste at Gabe, so she wouldn’t get in trouble!

 

Once she’d finished her breakfast and quickly brushed her teeth, she went in her room, grabbed her homework binder and stuffed it in her backpack, and then rifled through her clear bin full of her and Jana’s Barbies, and found Ariel, and shoved her in there before zipping it up and running down the stairs to go catch the bus.

 

That day, she told Jordan and Bella how she brought Ariel to protect her at recess instead of toothpaste, so she wouldn’t get in trouble. They both thought it was a very good idea. Alana was tired and she still didn’t feel all that good, and she wanted to go to sleep during class.

 

But when lunch was over and recess came, Alana clambered to play Adventurers with all the other girls, but found out that instead, everyone wanted to play Cowpeople instead.

 

That was okay, Alana liked pretending that she was a cowgirl in the Wild West, just like Jessie from Toy Story 2, rounding up all the cattle and galloping away from the evil Sheriff of Nottingham.

 

Regina did say that the Sheriff of Nottingham was from Robin Hood and not Cowpeople, but only a couple other people knew who Robin Hood even was, so Mary-Ann played the Sheriff, and that was that.

 

Gabe and the boys that he played with didn’t talk to the Cowpeople girls, but he did shoot Alana some mean looks, and eventually, he did come over to her, when Alana and the other cowpeople were getting food in Jessie’s Wild Saloon (the food was really mulch, and nobody was actually eating it, of course, but that was okay.)

 

“My daddy said that if you spray me with toothpaste again, then he’s gonna turn you into mashed potatoes and then we can eat you on Christmas. And my cousins come on Christmas, so we’ll eat every bit of you.”

 

“Yeah, well, I don’t need toothpaste. I have... Alana trailed off as her stomach seemed to roll around in her tummy. She’d eaten lots for lunch and breakfast, and then there was the ice cream from the night before, and she still didn’t feel really good.

 

Then, she felt something else funny, and the next thing she knew, she’d thrown up, all over Gabe’s shoes and his fancy jeans.

 

Everybody screamed “Ewww!” except for Alana, who shakily sat down and started crying.

 

Mrs. Shapiro came running over, and quickly hugged Alana, while Mr. Perez took Gabe to get cleaned up, and Mrs. Williams made everyone else move away and go play on the swings and monkey bars.

 

The janitor, Mr. Halprin, came, too, and Mrs. Shapiro took Alana by the hand and led her into the school.

 

Alana was surprised by this. She thought that the school was locked during recess, and that’s why all the teachers had to stay outside talking about taxes and how Sheila and Mark broke up.

 

What was breaking up, anyway? Did it mean they broke into a million pieces, like the coffee mug Gretchen had dropped on the floor one day? She’d said a really bad word when she did, and then told her and Jana not to say that word, not ever, after she’d cleaned it up.

 

But she wasn’t wondering too much about what breaking up was right now. She was still crying. Everyone had seen her throw up on the playground, even her friends, and now she would be in trouble for the second time in just two days and they wouldn’t want to be her friends anymore and Mrs. Shapiro wouldn’t be nice to her anymore.

 

Speaking of Mrs. Shapiro, she’d taken her to the nurse, and was opening the door.

 

The nurse looked up. “Oh, hello. What do we have here?”

 

“Alana threw up on the playground, Sheila.”

 

So this was Sheila? Even if she knew Mrs. Shapiro wouldn’t be nice to her anymore and she couldn’t stop crying, she couldn’t help but ask, “You don’t look like you’re broken in a million pieces, Sheila.”

 

The nurse looked surprised, but she squatted down to her, so Alana could see her better. “You can call me Nurse Shelia, Alana. And why would you think I’m broken in pieces?”

 

“Because you broke up with Mark, right? Doesn’t that mean that someone dropped you and you broke like a mug and someone said a bad word?”

 

Mrs. Shapiro let out a loud laugh, and so did Sheila, clutching her stomach and sitting down on her butt. Did she not feel good, too?

 

“Honey, I’m not that Sheila, that’s Mrs. Pike, and Mark is Mr. Cruz, but he works at the middle school. And Mrs. Pike didn’t drop a mug, she wasn’t dropped, and nobody, nobody said a bad word, same for Mr. Cruz. Also, where did you learn about that?”

 

Alana wanted to answer, but instead, she threw up again, and Sheila and Mrs. Shapiro rushed her to the bathroom and leaned her over the toilet, in case she threw up again.

 

She didn’t, though, so she did answer the question.

 

“I heard the teachers talking about it yesterday,” she explained.

 

“She got in trouble and sat out during part of recess for squirting Gabriel Keltin with toothpaste,” Mrs. Shapiro added.

 

Alana looked up to see Sheila nodding. “Well, Alana, do you need to throw up any more?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Okay, then let’s go back and have you lay down, and I’ll call your mom.”

 

“You hafta call Gretchen,” Alana quietly protested as Sheila the Nurse led her back to her room, and made her lie down on the little folding bed in the back of there. Mrs. Shapiro had disappeared, and Alana went to sleep while Sheila started looking at things on her computer, probably for Gretchen’s phone number.

 

When she woke up again, Gretchen was there, and she took her home. She fell asleep in the car again, and then at home, Gretchen took her temperature and then sent her up to bed, and told her to go right to sleep and not answer the door or unlock it, either, while she got Jana from school.

 

When she woke up again, she found that her Ariel Barbie was tucked in under the covers right next to her, and she realised that she hadn’t had it during recess, and she’d left it in her cubby, but as it turned out, she hadn’t needed it, anyway.

 

Hopefully, she wouldn’t need it again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh sorry for missing the monday update, i was in austin. im back now, and since y’all had to wait, here’s a double update with the monday chapter & saturday’s chapter a day early. 
> 
> also, heads up, and ill say this again monday, but ill be out of town again next saturday, so that update will either come on friday or i might just skip, but i wanna pump out this particular work in the series quick to get to the next instalment, because as fun as this is, that’s where all the angsty crap begins.


	6. The Cigarette Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A play date, evil Barbies, Gretchen’s cigarettes... what could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fire and brief death tw, and bigger cigarette/smoking tw

Alana got to bring Bella and Jordan home for a play date one day. Gretchen had grudgingly accepted to it, and their moms had also agreed.

 

Gretchen had gone upstairs to fold some laundry, and so the girls were left alone in the living room, playing with their barbies.

 

Jana was playing with them, too, and since Alana’s friends got to come over for a play date, her friend, Regina, also came over. She had a hair chalk for the barbies that turned their hair pink, and ten whole barbies! And they weren’t all princesses. Apparently, her mom got them all at once from something called a thrift store.

 

Jana and Alana knew that Gretchen went to thrift a lot and brought back clothes that smelled funny, and sometimes stuffed animals or, once, a bag of Barbie clothes to share.

 

They didn’t really care so much where Regina had gotten her Barbies, because they were good Barbies.

 

So, that’s how they found themselves playing Rescue the Princess. Bella had Ursula, so Ursula got to kidnap Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, and Jordan’s Prince Charming, and all the other princesses (and Regina’s Ken that had no shirt that would fit him, just blue shorts, but since nobody liked the weird bumps on his top part, they wrapped him in some ribbon) had to go rescue him.

 

Cinderella had just turned evil, and Bella, who was playing her, spotted a pack of Gretchen’s cigarettes on the coffee table and got up to grab one and Gretchen’s blue lighter.

 

“Bella, no, those are Gretchen’s,” Jana protested.

 

“I’m not gonna smoke it, Cinderella is! Besides, I know how to do it, because my dad does it a lot.”

 

Bella expertly ignited the lighter, cupping the small flame, and lit the end. The girls watched in amazement.

 

And then, she stuck it in her old mouth and started to talk in Cinderella’s mouth, but started coughing really, really hard, and the cigarette fell out of her floor, to the ground.

 

Alana screeched when she saw flames rising from the carpet.

 

“Fire!” Jordan screamed, accompanying her friend’s screech.

 

They heard footsteps rushing down the stairs, and saw Gretchen at the foot of the stairs, studying the scene, what with Bella still coughing, Alana freaking out, Jordan beginning to cry, and the Barbies and Barbie clothes strewn around, and dashed for the kitchen. Alana had never seen her move quite that fast. It was scary.

 

Gretchen came back moments later with the scary red can with the hose that they weren’t allowed to touch, and sprayed white stuff at the fire.

 

The fire disappeared, but there was weird white stuff everywhere now.

 

Gretchen sighed, and then started looking around for a cause, finding it with the lighter next to Bella and the cigarette in the messiest part of the white mess.

 

“Bella,” she said quietly, in a scary, low voice, “Did you play with my cigarettes?”

 

Bella burst into tears and nodded.

 

Gretchen whisked the lighter and the box of cigarettes away instantly. “Don’t you know any better than that, Bella? The whole house could’ve burned down and people could’ve died.”

 

Bella, now definitely scared, nodded as tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

 

“You and I are going to go call your mother, and she’s going to come get you early,” Gretchen said, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her into the hallway.

 

It wasn’t really the same after that. They tried to keep playing, but some of the Barbies had the white stuff on them, and it just... wasn’t like it was. Not as fun.

 

Bella came back and picked up her barbies, and Gretchen had helped them wash all of them off in the kitchen sink, and then Bella’s mom had come, grabbed her, and left without another word.

 

Gretchen silently turned on a movie for the remaining girls and started cleaning the carpet while they moved to the couch and watched silently, not even laughing at the funny parts.

 

The next day at school, all anyone could talk about was how there was a fire at Alana’s house. Even Gabe stopped and asked her about it without being mean, and then he was mean when she’d said that they’d been playing with Barbies.

 

Bella was very quiet that whole day, and didn’t play Adventurers with the rest of them. She just played quietly on the swings by herself.

 

Right as recess was ending, Bella came up to Alana and quietly told her that she was sorry.

 

Alana didn’t care that she was about to defeat the evil Stepmother Laser Eyes Kendra. She hugged Bella right then and there, and said that it was okay, and then Bella had helped her defeat Kendra just in time before the bell summoned them all back inside.

 

But that wasn’t the end.

 

Because a couple days later, Gretchen threw away all her cigarettes and most of her lighters and started chewing lots and lots of gum. She let Alana and Jana have some sometimes, and Alana’s favourite was the cinnamon flavour. Jana said it was too spicy, but Alana thought it was just right.

 

Gretchen was even grumpier, though, and meaner.

 

Alana kinda wished she’d just go back to smoking cigarettes. Maybe they made her brain feel funny, but at least she wasn’t that grumpy.

 

And, even when Jana protested with talk of black lungs and something called cancer, Gretchen went back to smoking a couple months later. No more gum for anyone anymore.

 

At least she wasn’t as mean now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i low-key don’t know about this chapter???? like it’s ok but it’s short and ive done better.


	7. The Mistletoe Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A field trip, firefighters, and Mrs. Shapiro’s boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for missing a couple posts! i really have no excuse ive kinda just forgotten to post. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ill try to be a liiiiiiitle better now, especially since ill probably miss a bunch at the end of january. 
> 
> anyways, enjoy, and happy holidays!

Mrs. Shapiro was taking them all on something called a field trip, all the way to Easton, all the way across the state, to the factory where they made Crayola crayons. Like the ones she’d gotten for her birthday! It was going to be a long drive, but that was okay. They got to see crayons being made!

 

So Gretchen dropped her off at school early, rather than have the bus pick her up, and then she got on a bus anyway, instead of going inside. Why the bus hadn’t just picked her up like it normally did, she didn’t know, but that was okay.

 

This day, Mrs. Shapiro was on the bus, and so were Bella and Jordan. They all got to sit at the back, with the really long seat. Two other girls, Emma and Regina, also sat with them on the back seat, and they all played Barbies, since they got to bring toys instead of homework to school that day, for the long drive. It was going to be four whole hours!

 

The Barbies got into a lot of trouble, and Regina brought Ursula again, so she killed Alana’s favourite Barbie, the one named Carrie, with skin the colour of hers and long, skinny braids with gold beads on them, and all the other Barbies decided to get Ursula and kill her.

 

There was a big, big fight, but finally, Ursula was defeated, and just in time, because there was a big building with giant crayons and pencils outside it.

 

The bus driver had to park first, but then, they all had to get out one row at a time, which meant that Alana, Bella, Jordan, Regina, and Emma all got out last. Even Gabe, stupid Gabe, got to get out before them.

 

But it was okay, because then, they didn’t have to wait by the bus, and they got to walk right into the place. Of course, they had to wait and get those paper wristbands, but then, they all got to go on the escalator. Some of the grown ups could probably see out the big, big windows, but they couldn’t.

 

The first thing they did there was go into a small room and sit on long benches to watch a man make crayons. He poured them into a big heavy mold, they got hard, and then they got poured out as real crayons, and then they got wrapped, and they were made. It wasn’t really all that cool, it was a little bit boring, but that was okay.

 

For the next few hours, the whole group got to do cool crayon stuff, like with model magic clay, and they got to make crayons with their names on them. Alana chose a purple one, and typed her name in carefully, A L A N A.

 

The wrapper printed out and a crayon tumbled to the slot, and she got to put it on a special machine that put it on the crayon. Now she had a special violet purple crayon with her name on it!

 

Another cool thing they got to do was stand in front of a camera and they’d get a colouring sheet made with their face on it. Alana got hers with Regina and Jordan. Bella didn’t want to be in the picture, she wanted hers just with Emma.

 

Eventually, they got taken to the food court, where they ate lunch. Alana had a cheeseburger and French fries, and then everyone had to go to the bathroom, and then they all got back on the bus. 

 

They coloured on the way home, and they played a little bit of Barbies too, but Alana fell asleep while Carrie was spying on Ursula and evil Belle, and when she woke up, they were back at school. 

 

Gretchen took her home, they ate dinner, and Alana told Jana all about her field trip. Jana hadn’t gotten to go, only the kindergarters. All the second graders would get to go on a field trip next week. But they weren’t going to the crayon factory, they were going to a zoo.

 

But the next day, instead of going to regular class, they all had to sit in the cafeteria, where the stage was, while a bunch of firefighters told them how to escape a fire. It was weird, and scary. 

 

They asked for volunteers at one point, and Alana held her hand really really high, but she didn’t get picked. The kids they did pick were really big, probably in fifth grade, maybe in sixth grade, and they didn’t even go to this school.

 

They came from Greenwood Elementary, not Marnie J. Rosenfield Elementary School. And Greenwood Elementary had sixth graders, even though Marnie J. Rosenfield Elementary School only had fifth graders as the biggest kids. The sixth graders went to Ellenville Middle School. Some people called it EMS.

 

So she was kinda grumpy after the firefighters left, but after that, Mrs. Shapiro told them about something called mistletoe. If you stood under it, you’d get kissed. It was for Christmas, and she hung it up over near the orange rhombus table.

 

Emma, over at the red square table, raised her hand. Alana had played Adventurers with her a couple times, and she was really cool and fun.

 

“Yes, Emma?” Mrs. Shapiro prompted.

 

Emma put down her hand. “Why’re you putting up the mistletoe? Do we have to kiss?”

 

Mrs. Shapiro threw her head back and laughed. It made her look pretty.

 

“No, Emma, my boyfriend is coming to school later, and I want to give him a nice surprise, okay? It’ll be our little secret, and if you can all keep it, I’ll bring Christmas and Hanukkah cookies to school tomorrow, alright?”

 

When someone would’ve said something about how kissing was gross, Mrs. Shapiro had thrown in cookies, and suddenly, everyone had forgotten about how kissing was gross, and Alana had forgotten about being grumpy. She got to keep a secret! It was so cool!

 

Mrs. Shapiro’s boyfriend was tall with a big bushy brown beard and lots of hair on the top of his head, instead of it being bald like Alana saw a lot.

 

All the kids were whispering and giggling, and her boyfriend hugged the teacher. “My, what nice little children you teach,” he said, smiling really big.

 

Mrs. Shapiro giggled, and then, the boyfriend looked behind her. “Why, is this... could it be... he looked back at the kids, who were all giggling, except some of the boys, with really wide eyes and an even bigger smile. “Have y’all been keeping secrets from me?”

 

Everybody laughed, and then he pulled Mrs. Shapiro under the mistletoe and kissed her, which was kinda gross. Instead of laughing, everyone let out a big “Ewww!”

 

He kissed her for a really long time, and then they pulled away. Mrs. Shapiro had pink cheeks and a big smile. “Jim, not in front of the kids,” she said, doing that thing where grown ups put their hand on the back of her neck and smile.

 

Jim pouted, and everyone laughed. Everyone liked Jim, even Gabe and a couple other boys.

 

“Well, I think I owe you all some Christmas and Hanukkah cookies, huh?” Mrs. Shapiro laughed, twirling her fancy silver star necklace around her finger.

 

 

 

 


	8. Things That Cookie Cake And New Crayons Can’t Fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana turns six. It’s not a perfect birthday, not by any means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief fire & smoke tw (just candles)
> 
> guys it’s like actual alana beck birthday! this has been sitting in my drafts for ages and i realise i keep going on and on about how bad alana’s parents are and i realised that all the chapters are like that, so im gonna rework some chapters before we get back to a regular posting schedule. ive decided there’s only going to be 12 chapters total before moving on to the next series part so keep that in mind. anyway, enjoy!

Alana woke up one day in mid January and practically sprang out of bed, before climbing back on and jumping around on the bed until Jana made her stop and get dressed.

 

 

Alana chose a new dress that she’d been impatiently waiting to wear for the first time today. It was gold and shiny, with a big purple heart made of sequins on the front. If you flipped the sequins, it turned silver. She flipped the sequins several times before settling on the purple.

 

In addition, she wore black leggings and her brown winter boots, and her curly hair which had been long since let out of the braids that she’d worn back at the beginning of kindergarten was wrestled into a bun.

 

Lastly, she wore a plastic necklace that Jordan had given her. It was purple, with peace signs on it. Alana didn’t know what peace signs were, but they looked nice.

 

Now fully dressed, she skipped all the way down the hall and down the steps, to the breakfast table, where she gobbled up scrambled eggs and sausage.

 

“I don’t see why you’re so excited today. It’s just another day,” Gretchen grumbled, taking away her used plate to the kitchen. “Oh well. Go wash your face and get to the bus stop.”

 

As Alana walked with Jana to the bus, she asked her, “Does Gretchen know that it’s my birthday? That I’m six whole years old?”

 

Jana shook her head. “I don’t think so. If she does, then she’s just ignoring the fact.”

 

Alana nodded seriously and climbed onto the school bus.

 

At school, Jordan gave her something wrapped in wrapping paper that was red with reindeer on it. “We only have Christmas wrapping paper at home,” she explained.

 

Alana didn’t mind. Reindeer were kinda cool, too, and she told her friend that.

 

Jordan nodded and smiled.

 

Mrs. Shapiro came over, just then. “Jordan, did you give Alana a present?”

 

Jordan nodded. “It’s her birthday!”

 

Mrs. Shapiro smiled widely. “Happy birthday, Alana! Did you bring cupcakes?”

 

Alana was confused. “No.”

 

“Is your nanny going to bring some later?” 

 

Alana shook her head, and then realised what Mrs. Shapiro was talking about. There had been a couple of birthdays so far, and all the kids had brought cupcakes or had them brought by a parent. One boy even had chocolate cupcakes with green frosting and Ninja Turtle rings on them. They were really yummy.

 

Alana’s eyes filled with tears.

 

“Oh, Alana. It’s alright, we’ll still do the birthday announcement and you can wear the birthday crown.”

 

The birthday crown was yellow, made of cardboard, and had ‘IT’S MY BIRTHDAY’ written in big blue letters. When you had a birthday, you could wear it all day, except recess.

 

Once the last few kids arrived, Mrs. Shapiro told everyone it was Alana’s birthday, had her come up to the front of the room while everyone sang Happy Birthday, and let her wear the birthday crown, and when she returned to her seat, one of the other kids at the purple triangle table, Clark, asked what kind of cupcakes she brought, and what colour the frosting was. Tammy, who was also at the table, asked if they had rings.

 

“I don’t get cupcakes,” Alana said sadly, and she promptly started crying again.

 

Despite Mrs. Shapiro’s best efforts and the present Jordan gave her (a Disney Princess colouring book and a 36 pack of crayons with the really cool sharpener on the back,) Alana was miserable all day. And when lunch rolled around, there were no cupcakes to pass out to everybody.

 

At recess, she played Adventurers on the playground as usual, but it only distracted her for a little while, because once they were walking back to class, Gabe told Alana that she was the stupidest girl ever and that’s why she didn’t get cupcakes. 

 

Alana cried on and off throughout the day, and finally, on the bus, she told Jana what had happened. Or, well, tried to, anyway. Jana had a new friend, a boy named Corey. He had light brown hair and big glasses and said his S’s like Th’s, and Jana wanted to sit with him, so Alana sat by herself.

 

At home, she tried to do her homework at the table like always, but almost every minute, she thought about Gabe’s mean face telling her she was the stupidest girl ever, and how she didn’t get any cupcakes, and she was crying again.

 

Of course, Gretchen eventually noticed. “Alana, stop crying and do your homework this instant,” she snapped.

 

“But I didn’t get any cupcakes and Gabe called me stupidest today,” Alana explained sadly.

 

“Quit whining, huh, and get your work done,” Gretchen said, but she had a funny look on her face.

 

After that, she left the room, came back after a minute, and then told Jana not to open the door to any strangers and not to unlock anything or burn the house down, and she got into her car and drove away.

 

“Where’s Gretchen going?” Alana asked.

 

“She’s going to Publix,” Jana said.

 

Alana nodded and worked to finish her homework. She was still crying a little bit, but she wanted to finish her homework so she could play with her new colouring book and crayons.

 

And then, when she was finished, she put it all away, of course, then got out the colouring book and opened the crayon box for the first time and smelled it. It smelled really nice.

 

She chose her first colour, a nice looking purple called Blue Violet, and coloured in Belle’s dress with it.

 

“But that’s not the colour Belle’s dress is in the movie! She has a yellow dress,” Jana protested.

 

Alana ignored her. Belle looked good in a Blue Violet dress, she decided. Even better than the yellow one.

 

When Gretchen got back, she didn’t make them help her unload the groceries, and did it herself, and from the dining room, Alana could see her cooking stir fry. Probably she had needed more ingredients and didn’t realise until after they had gotten home. Because normally, she went to the store while they were in school.

 

The stir fry was ready before long, and Alana had to put away her colouring book and new crayons, but that was okay, because the stir fry was yummy. Except for the mushrooms, which she picked out and gave to Jana.

 

After dinner, once the dishes were all washed and put away (Jana got to help dry,) Alana figured they’d have to get ready for bed.

 

But instead, Gretchen turned off the lights and told her to wait in the dining room, before going back into the kitchen.

 

When she came back, she was carrying a... was that a cake? It looked like a chocolate chip cookie, with purple frosting on the edges, and ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALANA,’ written in swirly, fancy purple writing. There was also a little Ariel toy on it, with Belle right next to her, and six lit candles, plus a seventh candle!

 

And then, Jana and Gretchen started singing Happy Birthday!

 

When the song ended, Alana was supposed to make a wish and blow out the candles.

 

She thought for a moment about what her wish should be, then finally decided on a really good one.

 

“I wish that Momma and Daddy would live with us and play games with us,” she whispered, then she blew out the candles. It took three blows, and the curly black smoke coming off the candles when they were blown out, even though she could barely see it in the darkness, it was really pretty.

 

Then Jana turned the lights back on, and Gretchen cut her a piece of cake, and gave her the little Ariel and Belle toys. The cake tasted just like a cookie, but with frosting, so it was even yummier.

 

Of course, she ended up with frosting all over her face, which Gretchen ended up wiping off, but it was still delicious. That was a new word she learned, it meant almost the exact same thing that yummy did.

 

After that, she finally had to take a bath, brush her teeth, put on her pajamas, and get in bed, but it was okay. She wasn’t crying anymore.

 

But while she was trying to fall asleep, she thought about her parents. Why hadn’t they come home for her birthday? Six was a very big number. She wished they’d come home and hugged her and told her what a big girl she was.

 

There are some things in life that even cookie cake and new crayons can’t fix.

 

Alana learned that that night. And she wished that they could fix everything. Why shouldn’t they? They tasted good, even though Gretchen complained about the amount of sugar. And crayons are really fun, especially when the box even has a sharpener on the back. And they smelled good! And they were pretty colours!

 

So why couldn’t they make her momma and daddy come home?

 


	9. Soccer and Parents Who Give Their Kids Orange Slices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana is signed up for soccer, and she’s not miserable about it, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blood and aggression tw

“So, girls, over Thanksgiving, I talked with your mother a bit, and she seemed to think that you all needed to be in sports. While I don’t exactly agree, I have signed you both up for soccer. It starts next Friday.”

“That’s so cool!” Alana cried. 

“Will Lana and I be on the same team?” Jana asked, picking at her cuticles. 

“Do we get to wear leg armour like the grown up soccer players do?”

“No, you’re in different age groups. I bought you both a few appropriate pairs of shorts to wear, as well as shin guards and soccer socks. You don’t need cleats, your sneakers are perfectly fine,” Gretchen said, getting bored with the conversation. “Now, go do your homework or something.” 

“We already did that.” 

“Well, then, you can go play with your Barbie dolls. Shoo, now,” Gretchen snapped, shoving the girl who was closest to her, which was Alana, towards the stairs.

At school the next day, all Alana could talk about was the soccer. Mrs. Shapiro overheard and told them about the readily available basket of balls that was always on the playground during recess. Mostly, the biggest kids used the balls, but she said that they could use a soccer ball if they wanted to.

The two practically bounded outside after lunch, thinking about this, and were quick to grab a soccer ball. As they were pulling it out, an older girl with brown eyes and short blonde hair in pigtails, with red ribbon bows tied on them, came up and reached into the basket before stopping.

“Y’all gonna play soccer, huh?” She asked.

Alana nodded. 

“You guys know how to play?”

Jordan shook her head. They both stared at the older girl, both frankly afraid. She had to be at least in fourth grade, even older than Jana.

“Well, I’ll teach you, if y’all want,” she offered.

“Sure!” Alana piped up brightly, suddenly getting over her initial fear of the girl.

“Alright, let’s go over to some grass,” she said, and led them over to a grassy section of the playground, which was mostly empty.

“Now, my name’s Danielle, what’re yours?”

“I’m Jordan Zoey Grimm,” Jordan said quietly. 

“Alana! Alana Beck! I forget my second name. But it’s really... oh, yeah! Ruth!”

 “Jordan Zoey Grimm and Alana Ruth Beck, huh? Alright, so the most important rule of soccer is - you can’t touch it with your hands. Any other body part is fine.”

Danielle ran through the basic rules, and then had Jordan and Alana play a practise game with her.

Jordan was hesitant to touch the ball, afraid to get hurt, but Alana was confident and aggressive. She would do anything for the ball. She fell down a lot, and by the time she scored her first goal, she was covered in grass stains.

Now, imagine her by the end of recess.

Initially, Danielle had gone easy on her, but even though Alana was so much smaller than her, she ended up having to really fight, almost as hard as she would with kids her own age.

Jordan was regelated to being the goalie at some point, which she was alright at, but it was hard to tell, with Alana fighting so hard against Alana for the ball and making it exceptionally hard for either of them to score in the first place.

A couple of the other big fourth graders drifted over after awhile, mostly girls and talked about boys and hair while studying the game curiously. Such a little girl, but so aggressive.

Finally, the bell rang, and Alana came back into the classroom with almost her entire shirt turned green, her legs dirty and scraped up with some stray blades of grass accompanied with dried blood making a home there. 

Mrs. Shapiro looked at her curiously, but the girl didn’t seem to be in any pain, so she continued on with teaching. 

She kept playing soccer with Danielle at recess, every single day, eventually learning her second and third names and also earning Danielle Laura Taylor’s respect as she got better and better.

 By the time Friday rolled around, Alana was ready for soccer. 

She was given a red shirt with the number nine on the front and back that was a little too long, and her soccer socks went almost up to her knees! The team was called the Red Tigers. Alana wished they were the Purple Tigers. 

The kids on her team mostly seemed to not know how to actually play soccer, so Alana was extremely bored most of the fifteen-minute preparation and warmup, and was excited to play her first team.

They played the Blue Panthers that day. They were the same ages, and not many of them were very good. So Alana, with her aggression, swiftness, and power, stood out obviously.

Gretchen had dropped her and Jana off, so she wasn’t there to watch. Neither were her parents, obviously. Which did make her feel a little left out, because all the other kids had parents cheering them on loudly and giving them orange slices and Gatorade. One girl even had purple Gatorade! And a couple kids talked about how they were getting ice cream later.

So even though she scored three whole goals, there was nobody to cheer her on. Jana’s game was still going on when hers finished, and when she went over to watch, Jana wasn’t as good as her. 

But it was fun, when she breathed so hard she forgot how to, and when she got muddy and grimy and beat the pants off of the other teams. So it wasn’t all that bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i played (indoor) soccer at the Y when i was 10 and we played in the basketball court, which was always about -40 degrees fahrenheit, and there was a foam barrier around the place we actually played to keep the balls from hitting the parents, i guess. it was definitely interesting, but im not subjecting alana to that kind of stuff.


	10. The Readathon [Part One]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saying that Alana really really liked reading was an understatement.
> 
> She really really really really really really _really_ loved reading.
> 
> And now... she was gonna beat the pants off of everyone else.

Alana really liked reading.

 

She liked a lot of things, like her new glasses, Jordan and Bella, Barbies, playing soccer, but she really really liked reading, too.

 

So, she was overjoyed to find out that the school library had been renovated over the summer. She’d only gone in once or twice during kindergarten, but over the summer she’d started going to the town library with Gretchen and Jana.

 

So, after school one day, when she was already going to take the late bus because Gretchen was at the doctor again, she ventured into the library. 

 

It was bigger than she’d remembered, covered in posters promoting reading, and so many new books. It was so cool!

 

So she started looking around immediately, and found a really big book called _Anna Karenina,_ and brought it to the front desk.

 

“Can I check this book out?” She asked, standing on her tiptoes to see the top of the desk.

 

The librarian laughed as she read the book’s title. “Anna Karenina, huh? Don’t you think that’s a little big for a kindergartener?”

 

“I’m a first grader, I was a kindergartener last year,” Alana protested indignantly.

 

“Well, it’s still a really big book. It’s mostly for fifth graders who want a big challenge, and even then, it’s really not supposed to be here, but the high school donated a bunch of big books, so here we are.”

 

Alana nodded seriously. “Well, I still wanna check it out.”

 

The librarian slid the book back to her. “Why don’t you go sit down and read some of it, and then we’ll see,” she suggested. “You’re taking the late bus, correct?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Alright, I’ll call you back over when you need to leave.”

 

So she found herself a nice armchair, and started reading.

 

_All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way._

 

 

That struck a chord with her. Her family could be called unhappy, and it was not unhappy like Bella’s family, where her parents doing something called a divorce where her parents fought a lot and were going to live in different houses.

 

Her family was unhappy in its own way, with her parents living away in New York City and both her and Jana wishing they’d pay attention to them more.

 

So she kept on reading, even though it turned out to be really hard.

 

After awhile, she heard the door open again, and a boy and a girl came in. The girl was short, and she was holding the boy’s hand. The boy, she recognised from her class. It was Connor Murphy. He’d talked about having a sister before, so that must be her.

 

“See, Zoe, this is the library. Mom wanted us to check out two books apiece, remember?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Let’s pick some out, and then we can read in the big chairs while we wait for the bus.”

 

So the two separated and went off in search of books, and Alana went back to her book.

 

After awhile, the girl climbed up into the armchair next to her with a book called Barbie: Shoot For The Stars. It wasn’t very big, but it had a picture of two pretty Barbies on it.

 

But she just went back to her own book, because it wasn’t nice to stare, even if the girl hadn’t noticed.

 

She heard the girl opening the book, and occasionally her turning pages, and then she made a noise of annoyance, and then she felt something on her shoulder.

 

She looked up, and saw that the girl was leaning over the arm of the chair and tapping her shoulder.

 

“Since you’re reading a really big grown up book, can you help me?” She asked. She had a squeaky voice, really high pitched, but Alana didn’t mind.

 

“Yeah! What do you need help with?” Alan chirped, putting her finger between the pages to keep them from closing.

 

The girl leaned back into her chair, grabbed the book, struggled down from it, and then pulled herself up to sit next to Alana, opening her book and pointing to a word.

 

“What’s this word mean?” She asked.

 

“Specialist, it means... it means someone who concentrates on one thing in a job, so they’re the best in the job.”

 

She nodded in understanding. “There’s a lot of words in this book I don’t know.”

 

“Want me to read it to you?” Alana offered. “I’m Alana.”

 

The girl nodded enthusiastically and handed Alana the book, snuggling down next to the bigger girl. “I’m Zoe.”

 

“Okay, I’m gonna start from the beginning,” Alana said, turning the book towards her so she could see the words.

 

“Launch minus nine minutes, the voice in Barbie’s headset said.”

 

Alana kept on reading to Zoe, even as Connor came over with his own books and cast Alana a questioning glance, before the librarian told them they had ten minutes and Alana wanted to put Anna Karenina away and get a Barbie chapter book like Zoe.

 

She did this, and then got in line behind Zoe and Connor, clutching the book to her tummy, as the pair got their books checked out.

 

“My, such reading loving visitors I got today!” The librarian commented as Shen started checking Alana’s book out. “You know, there’s a readathon in a few days, where you read as many books as you can for a whole week, and the ten kids who read the most in each grade get prizes. Everyone else gets smaller prizes, too. I think you guys might be interested.”

 

Alana could’ve jumped for joy. A way for her to read a bunch of books, and prizes too!

 

Connor looked like he could do the same, and Zoe already was, for real.

 

“I thought so. You can sign up with your teachers tomorrow, they’re already going to announce it then. But for now, read what you’ve got, and then bring them back tomorrow, okay?”

 

All three of them nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Great! Good luck with it, but now you should hurry along, the bus will be here in five minutes.”

 

They all grabbed their books and walked away quickly, to the front of the school, where the bus was already waiting by the time they got there.

 

Alana and Connor exchanged a series of looks, and like grown ups do, they understood that the other would do their best to beat them and read the most books of anyone in the whole first grade.

 

Zoe was blissfully oblivious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the anna karenina thing will be important l8r i promise


End file.
